Omega Owners Forum - Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead!

hotel21

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Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead!
31. May 2009 at 23:56

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid. With two friends?

A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." The son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a dick like that."

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one punch......

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "'Morning."
He replied, "No, just having a shit."

Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

If found offensive yadda yadda, give yourself a shake and think about it a wee bit.... Thumbs Up!

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for prices.....

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Nickbat Omega Lord Offline Posts: 7167 London NW7 Gender: Drives: 2002 2.6CD Auto	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #1 - 01. Jun 2009 at 00:16 Brilliant!
Back to top	I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx IP Logged

Ron Burgundy Ex Member If all else fails, get out the oxy! Drives: Omega CDX 2.5 V6	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #2 - 01. Jun 2009 at 00:17 Nice one
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Turk Omega Baron Offline Posts: 3364 Llanelli, Wales Gender: Drives: Two tractors...a chipped manual 2.5td CD (F/Lift '00) & a Hardly-Movinson XL1200	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #3 - 01. Jun 2009 at 00:23 Excellent
Back to top	Only a biker truly understands why a dog sticks it's head out of the window of a moving car. IP Logged

cam2502

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Posts: 880
dumfries,scotland
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Drives: silver 2001 BMW 318i se

Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead!
Reply #4 - 01. Jun 2009 at 00:33

hotel21 wrote on 31. May 2009 at 23:56:

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid. With two friends?

A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." The son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a dick like that."

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one punch......

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "'Morning."
He replied, "No, just having a shit."

Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

If found offensive yadda yadda, give yourself a shake and think about it a wee bit.... Thumbs Up!

Brilliant!!!! Grin

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MikeDundee Omega King Offline avatar borrowed from DLK for a bit..... Posts: 10127 Costa Del Peckham Gender: Drives: Irmscher Omega 3.0 V6	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #5 - 01. Jun 2009 at 05:37 ..................very good, cheered me up for a Monday morning
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Plomien Omega Knight Offline Rescue the beer and drink the maiden Posts: 1724 Swansea Gender: Drives: 2.5 V6 Tourer	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #6 - 01. Jun 2009 at 07:06
Back to top	http://interhell.co.uk/ Formally cablehell is back IP Logged

Lazydocker Omega King Offline Victim of Pinky's Power Trip! Posts: 11336 Woodbridge, Suffolk Gender: Drives: 2003 3.2 Elite Estate LPG Converted, inspected and Certified	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #7 - 01. Jun 2009 at 07:20 Jimmy Carr strikes again I know, I had the same list on email a couple of days ago But he is very funny
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dad1uk Omega Knight Offline Posts: 1139 Birmingham Gender: Drives: Omega 2.5 Tourer Estate	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #8 - 01. Jun 2009 at 07:30 Great stuff
Back to top	best wishes Simon. IP Logged

Debs. Omega Lord Offline A denizen of The Wirral peninsula Posts: 7386 Gender: Drives: 2.5 V6 CDX Estate (1999)	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #9 - 01. Jun 2009 at 07:38 Love `em!.....`enjoyed a good titter!
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Banjax Omega Lord Offline We're just a virus with shoes Posts: 5591 Perth Gender: Drives: '04 Subaru Legacy Sport, '03 406 diesel	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #10 - 01. Jun 2009 at 07:54 actually made me laugh out loud and wake the mrs
Back to top	50 bucks!?! For 50 bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow!! IP Logged

mantagte Omega Knight Offline Posts: 1823 Gender:	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #11 - 01. Jun 2009 at 10:23 rofl
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Elite Pete

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My spider senses are tingling

Posts: 17813
Northwich/Chester
Gender: male

Drives: Facelift Wheezel,Breaking 2001 MV6

Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead!
Reply #12 - 01. Jun 2009 at 10:30

hotel21 wrote on 31. May 2009 at 23:56:

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid. With two friends?

A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." The son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a dick like that."
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one punch......

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "'Morning."
He replied, "No, just having a shit."

Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

If found offensive yadda yadda, give yourself a shake and think about it a wee bit.... Thumbs Up!

All funny but these two made me laugh out loud Thumbs Up!

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« Last Edit: 01. Jun 2009 at 10:31 by Elite Pete »

V6 Cambelts, tensioners and water pump replaced £235 including parts or supply your own £100 fitted

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Varche Omega Baron Offline Posts: 3860 Andalucia, Spain Gender: Drives: 97 pre mini facelift 3 litre auto RHD Elite saloon and a 2000 Ford Ka !	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #13 - 01. Jun 2009 at 10:47 Excellent
Back to top	Finished breaking the red mfl Elite saloon in Spain. Got a shed load of stuff. Will post parts. IP Logged

omegarob Newbie Offline Posts: 40 essex Gender: Drives: saab 9-5t	Re: Political Correctness? Have a wee giggle instead! Reply #14 - 01. Jun 2009 at 10:58 brill, abdul and the carpet, i was drinking my tea when reading this one, and spilt it down my teashirt.
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