Kids Are Quick 

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TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:   Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
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TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the  floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using  tables.
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TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:        K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:   No, that's wrong
GLENN:        Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell  it.
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:  H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:      Yesterday you said it's H to  O.
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we did n't have  ten years ago.
WINNIE:      Me!
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:         Well, I'm a lot  closer to the ground than you  are.
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TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with  'I.'
MILLIE:           I is..
TEACHER:     No, Millie...... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:           All right...  'I am the ninth  letter of the alphabet.'      
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TEACHER:    George  Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also  admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish  him?
LOUIS:      Because George still had the axe in his  hand.   
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TEACHER:   Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before  eating?
SIMON:       No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good  cook.
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TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly  the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :      No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:      A teacher

Very funny!   

Not one bad one! Loved it