Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius!

"One pound a week will supply water for an entire village in Tanzania" says Oxfam. So how come yorkshire water charge me twenty pounds a month for my three bedroom semi? The fleecing b@st@rds!!!

Why shouldn't you make fun of a retarded dwarf?

Because it's not big and it's not clever.