A woman says to her husband " Those Olympic condoms I ordered have arrived, there's 4 Gold, 4 Silver and 4 Bronze"
"Come on", says her husband.............."Lets go try a Gold one"
She replies "No let's try a Silver one, see if you can come 2nd for once?"



Two blondes sat chatting one night, one looks up at the moon and says 'Which do you think is closer the moon or Australia ?' To which the other replies 'HELLOOO can you see Australia.'

A man breaks into a house, and whacks the owners a couple of times with his automatic, then ties them up. He bends over the woman and kisses her neck, then disappears up the hall into the bathroom.

While he's gone, the husband says, "This guy could do anything. I saw how he kissed your neck. Please go along with whatever he wants. No matter how much sex he wants, just humour him and agree, or else he could kill us both. Be strong dear, I love you."

The wife replied "He wasn't kissing me, he was whispering in my ear. He thinks you look cute, and was asking if we had any vaseline in the house. I told him there was some in the bathroom. Be strong dear. I love you too."
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pmsl needed a good laugh today thanks