Larry gets home late one night and his wife,

Linda, says, "Where in the hell have you been?"

Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred pound note on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, Shaking her head in
disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred pound note
tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow.

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at
home and blow a hundred quid anytime you
want."

I am currently trying to get out of going to asda in the morning after finishing work....I hate shopping!!!

the things they offer at morrisons these days, their slogan of: "Fresh Choice for You" is accurate then 

very good 

Good one