Omega Owners Forum - parents & dementia.

The Red Baron

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parents & dementia.
18. Jan 2011 at 23:40

had a phone call from blackpool social services about my folks being in a bit of a state,mum doesnt know where she is one minute to another, both loosing there memory, to the point that dad forgets his pin number for his bank card & cant get money. forgetting to pays bills & so forth. heres me in burton on trent, like 120 miles away. im off up there in the morning for a week or so to try & sort it all out. they own there house up there & i think it best they move down here then sell up.
i have a brother that will no doubt try & grab what he can from this & im at a loss as to what to do.
anybody had a situation like this that can shed me a bit of light.
sorry all, i dont normally share news like this but im getting near to the end of my tether so to speak. Embarrassed

jon.

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Kevin M

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #1 - 18. Jan 2011 at 23:52

Hi Jon

IME it would be best to tackle this in a robust and assertive way up front to get something sorted as soon as poss. Otherwise it can drag on, being a real difficulty for you, your parents and yr family. You could ask Blackpool SS if there is housing with care available for your folks. That way they keep their independence as far as is practical. Get the SS psychiatrist to assess their mental ability - there are drugs available to slow down further loss. Get Lasting Power of Attorney sorted while you can - then you can take control if needed.

Can PM some LPOA stuff if you like (tomorrow). It's a difficult time buddy and you have my sympathy. And whatever guidance I can give. But there is help and experience available. IME your M&D will be grateful if you can lead them to a place of comfort and safety.

K

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The Red Baron

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #2 - 18. Jan 2011 at 23:56

Kevin M wrote on 18. Jan 2011 at 23:52:

Hi Jon

IME it would be best to tackle this in a robust and assertive way up front to get something sorted as soon as poss. Otherwise it can drag on, being a real difficulty for you, your parents and yr family. You could ask Blackpool SS if there is housing with care available for your folks. That way they keep their independence as far as is practical. Get the SS psychiatrist to assess their mental ability - there are drugs available to slow down further loss. Get Lasting Power of Attorney sorted while you can - then you can take control if needed.

Can PM some LPOA stuff if you like (tomorrow). It's a difficult time buddy and you have my sympathy. And whatever guidance I can give. But there is help and experience available. IME your M&D will be grateful if you can lead them to a place of comfort and safety.

K

i have a meeting for the above sorted out for 3rd feb. i would pleased of any info you could send me for this. Thumbs Up!

thankyou.

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Vamps

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #3 - 19. Jan 2011 at 00:01

Kevin M wrote on 18. Jan 2011 at 23:52:

Hi Jon

IME it would be best to tackle this in a robust and assertive way up front to get something sorted as soon as poss. Otherwise it can drag on, being a real difficulty for you, your parents and yr family. You could ask Blackpool SS if there is housing with care available for your folks. That way they keep their independence as far as is practical. Get the SS psychiatrist to assess their mental ability - there are drugs available to slow down further loss. Get Lasting Power of Attorney sorted while you can - then you can take control if needed.

Can PM some LPOA stuff if you like (tomorrow). It's a difficult time buddy and you have my sympathy. And whatever guidance I can give. But there is help and experience available. IME your M&D will be grateful if you can lead them to a place of comfort and safety.

K

Kevin, you are right in everything you say, I would add that power of Attorney may be a battle though, that you must win, legally your parents have 'capacity' until proved otherwise.......

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Turk Omega Baron Offline Posts: 3364 Llanelli, Wales Gender: Drives: Two tractors...a chipped manual 2.5td CD (F/Lift '00) & a Hardly-Movinson XL1200	Re: parents & dementia. Reply #4 - 19. Jan 2011 at 00:04 PM sent
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The Red Baron

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #5 - 19. Jan 2011 at 00:04

Vamps wrote on 19. Jan 2011 at 00:01:

Kevin M wrote on 18. Jan 2011 at 23:52:

Hi Jon

IME it would be best to tackle this in a robust and assertive way up front to get something sorted as soon as poss. Otherwise it can drag on, being a real difficulty for you, your parents and yr family. You could ask Blackpool SS if there is housing with care available for your folks. That way they keep their independence as far as is practical. Get the SS psychiatrist to assess their mental ability - there are drugs available to slow down further loss. Get Lasting Power of Attorney sorted while you can - then you can take control if needed.

Can PM some LPOA stuff if you like (tomorrow). It's a difficult time buddy and you have my sympathy. And whatever guidance I can give. But there is help and experience available. IME your M&D will be grateful if you can lead them to a place of comfort and safety.

K

Kevin, you are right in everything you say, I would add that power of Attorney may be a battle though, that you must win, legally your parents have 'capacity' until proved otherwise.......

mum hasnt anymore, dad has the ability to make some decisions i have ben told by b/pool social. i will know more after the assesment in feb.

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Vamps

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #6 - 19. Jan 2011 at 00:10

The Red Baron wrote on 19. Jan 2011 at 00:04:

Vamps wrote on 19. Jan 2011 at 00:01:

Kevin M wrote on 18. Jan 2011 at 23:52:

Hi Jon

IME it would be best to tackle this in a robust and assertive way up front to get something sorted as soon as poss. Otherwise it can drag on, being a real difficulty for you, your parents and yr family. You could ask Blackpool SS if there is housing with care available for your folks. That way they keep their independence as far as is practical. Get the SS psychiatrist to assess their mental ability - there are drugs available to slow down further loss. Get Lasting Power of Attorney sorted while you can - then you can take control if needed.

Can PM some LPOA stuff if you like (tomorrow). It's a difficult time buddy and you have my sympathy. And whatever guidance I can give. But there is help and experience available. IME your M&D will be grateful if you can lead them to a place of comfort and safety.

K

Kevin, you are right in everything you say, I would add that power of Attorney may be a battle though, that you must win, legally your parents have 'capacity' until proved otherwise.......

mum hasnt anymore, dad has the ability to make some decisions i have ben told by b/pool social. i will know more after the assesment in feb.

I would go with their advice, though why so long I do not know. Go with the flow for the moment, or until you are not happy with events, if this is the case make as much fuss as you can, to get what you want.... Thumbs Up!

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The Red Baron

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #7 - 19. Jan 2011 at 00:18

thanks vamps. im taking the lappy with me so no doubt i will be asking more advice in the week.
its so annoying though, ive been trying to get them to move back for 3 years, the answer is always, yes in the summer. getting a bit late for it now.
my idea would be to get them down here in rented accomodation that i can call in everyday to help, then sell the house in blackpool.

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Jo_Kent Junior Member Offline Posts: 110 Essex Gender:	Re: parents & dementia. Reply #8 - 19. Jan 2011 at 07:22 PM sent
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MV6Matt Senior Member Offline On 19's with 3 litre cams and Irmscher kit Posts: 812 London Gender: Drives: '98 2.5 V6 CDX Estate (in MV6 guise with lots of Irmscher)	Re: parents & dementia. Reply #9 - 19. Jan 2011 at 07:36 Have PM'd you too Matthew
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terbert Senior Member Offline Posts: 634 High Wycombe/Brackley/Wareham Drives: 2000 Omega Elite Estate 2.5	Re: parents & dementia. Reply #10 - 19. Jan 2011 at 08:18 Power of Attorney is a must......however since my family did it, the government changed the system. We have Enduring Power of Attorney, which only involved an hours appointment at my mothers bank (she was not even present) and I now have full access to mothers affairs. Did not have to go to the Court of Protection.
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Desperate Den

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #11 - 19. Jan 2011 at 09:03

Kevin M wrote on 18. Jan 2011 at 23:52:

Hi Jon

IME it would be best to tackle this in a robust and assertive way up front to get something sorted as soon as poss. Otherwise it can drag on, being a real difficulty for you, your parents and yr family. You could ask Blackpool SS if there is housing with care available for your folks. That way they keep their independence as far as is practical. Get the SS psychiatrist to assess their mental ability - there are drugs available to slow down further loss. Get Lasting Power of Attorney sorted while you can - then you can take control if needed.

Can PM some LPOA stuff if you like (tomorrow). It's a difficult time buddy and you have my sympathy. And whatever guidance I can give. But there is help and experience available. IME your M&D will be grateful if you can lead them to a place of comfort and safety.

K

Yes, well posted K - I would certainly echo the importance of having the Lasting Power of Attorney sorted out sooner rather than later.

Jon - I'm very sorry to hear your news I do hope that you get all the strength and assistance necessary to help you, and your family - but above all your parents - through this.

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The Red Baron

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #12 - 19. Jan 2011 at 09:10

Desperate Den wrote on 19. Jan 2011 at 09:03:

Kevin M wrote on 18. Jan 2011 at 23:52:

Hi Jon

IME it would be best to tackle this in a robust and assertive way up front to get something sorted as soon as poss. Otherwise it can drag on, being a real difficulty for you, your parents and yr family. You could ask Blackpool SS if there is housing with care available for your folks. That way they keep their independence as far as is practical. Get the SS psychiatrist to assess their mental ability - there are drugs available to slow down further loss. Get Lasting Power of Attorney sorted while you can - then you can take control if needed.

Can PM some LPOA stuff if you like (tomorrow). It's a difficult time buddy and you have my sympathy. And whatever guidance I can give. But there is help and experience available. IME your M&D will be grateful if you can lead them to a place of comfort and safety.

K

Yes, well posted K - I would certainly echo the importance of having the Lasting Power of Attorney sorted out sooner rather than later.

Jon - I'm very sorry to hear your news I do hope that you get all the strength and assistance necessary to help you, and your family - but above all your parents - through this.

thankyou.

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cleggy

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #13 - 19. Jan 2011 at 11:51

We found these people a great help http://alzheimers.org.uk/
They put things into perspective, and it didn't seem like we were fighting in the dark.
It can be a battle with Social Services, but insist and be persistent to get what you want for your parents.
I don't know the ramifications regarding the property, but you becoming a 'Tenant in Common' or something may be advisable, I think legal advise would be wise.

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« Last Edit: 19. Jan 2011 at 11:52 by cleggy »

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MV6Matt

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Re: parents & dementia.
Reply #14 - 19. Jan 2011 at 13:21

cleggy wrote on 19. Jan 2011 at 11:51:

We found these people a great help http://alzheimers.org.uk/
They put things into perspective, and it didn't seem like we were fighting in the dark.
It can be a battle with Social Services, but insist and be persistent to get what you want for your parents.
I don't know the ramifications regarding the property, but you becoming a 'Tenant in Common' or something may be advisable, I think legal advise would be wise.

Absolutely essential - epecially in cases involving Dementia.

Matthew

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« Last Edit: 19. Jan 2011 at 13:22 by MV6Matt »

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